Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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