I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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