im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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