found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
