i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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