i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
im on a boat
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