You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
