Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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