My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
