I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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