You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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