she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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