You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
