does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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