I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
