I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
