she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
