The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
