If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize