Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
