I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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