i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
