Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
