You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize