Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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