All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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