it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
