No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
