YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..