I want to have your abortion
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it