There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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