You can't special order awesome
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
