Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am puke
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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