This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
