Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
