Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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