I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
