I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
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my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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