your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
