Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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