...so i touched it.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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