Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
