I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
