How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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