9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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