By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
