four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
