yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
