your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Randomize
