I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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