turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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