I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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