Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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