found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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