Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
