i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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