I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
