Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
