how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
