that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
