Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
