I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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