THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
