Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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